Tomorrow is the Brighton Convention! Shit, that came around really quickly. There are some really great tattooers working there, some of them you’ll have seen on the pages of this website, some of them you just know of anyway because they’re really cool. Here’s an artists list. There are also live bands, seminars, and an art gallery. There is a great tattoo competition run by Total Tattoo, too. The show is really great, and you will love it.

My Facebook Gossip machine (or ‘news feed’, whatever) tells me that loads of tattooers have now set up their spaces, loads are heading down as we speak, and they will be ready for you guys bright and early tomorrow.

If you live nearby and you haven’t looked into attending yet (hurry up man), please click here for the website!

I was stupid enough to make plans to go with my now ex boyfriend (you’re a dick, Peewee!) so I won’t be making it this year- I’d still love it if you guys could send in some pictures next week and let me know what you loved about it. Videos would also be welcomed. Do my job for me, please.

I would also like to wish organiser Woody the best of luck for a great weekend! Have fun, everyone!

For those of you who don’t know, I write for Total Tattoo magazine, sharing a column space with Matt Lodder. Next month is my turn, and I wanted you all to know in case you’d like to read it. This month, I’m blowing off some steam in my favourite way.

Overall, I think you should buy Total Tattoo anyway, because it rocks, and it’s our editor James’ first issue where he’s totally on his own (dun dun dun!). Also, Lal Hardy is in this issue, which makes it required reading by default.

Total Tattoo magazine is out next week, on the 2nd of February. You can buy it from WHSmith and loads of newsagents and supermarkets. I really hope you guys like what I have for you all this time.

Joking aside, let’s get on with today’s post.

So, for a while now I’ve been hearing about this Inkmasters show. Basically, Oliver Peck, Chris Nunez and Dave Navarro (I don’t know either) have rounded up 10 tattooers, and they give them challenges and judge their work every week. One tattooer gets eliminated each week, until there’s one ‘Ink Master’ left.

I have to say, I really wanted to like this thing, if only for Oliver Peck, who I really like- they seem to have cut out 99% of what he’s said though, so I’ll be as brutal as I want.

Firstly, I should probably tell you that we started off with the idea of making this post into a video, where I actually watch the show. If we did, you’d get the show with a lot of laughing, so it’s a good job we didn’t do that. It’s just so hard to take this show seriously when they say “raw talent” every five seconds. It cracks me up too much and I miss half of what they’re saying.

First off I don’t like a lot of the contestants on this. I don’t really think whoever wins this can say they’re a master of anything. Put the winner up against tattooers like Bob Roberts, Grime or Chris O’Donnell, then tell me if they’re a master. I think I like about two or three of the contestants- the rest I just think are whiney and aren’t that great.

Secondly, I don’t like the format of the show. What’s with all these timed challenges, and making the guys tattoo dead pigs in a freezer? I’m pretty sure the best tattooers have never had to do that, why make these guys do it? It just seems weird. I don’t think many people would like how dramatic the show is either, but I kind of liked that just for the fact I’d have been bored without it.

There is one thing I do like about this show, which is the end- Oliver, Chris and Dave basically look at the tattooers’ work and rip it to shreds. I like that, not only for the fact I like that they’re not praising bad work, but because a lot of people who love these kinds of shows are people who deserve to be shown what makes a good tattoo. We don’t see that often in these shows, so Inkmasters does excel in that.

Overall I think this show isn’t that great and I won’t watch another one any time soon, unless they replace the contestants and put Oliver Peck in the spotlight properly, because they’ve clearly missed something by leaving out that guy’s comments on tattooing.

Really though, that “raw talent” shit just makes me laugh.

Watch the show online here.

On March 3rd, his diary will be open again for June, July and August 2012. It will start at 11, and I urge you all to get down there because I can imagine it’ll be heaving. I last saw Gary at the Peterlee Convention, and he opened his diary a few days before- by 1PM, the spaces he had were all gone again!

Gary and Danielle Rose (also at Inkredible Kreations) will also be at the following conventions:

17th & 18th March 2012
Essex Tattoo Expo
Crown Plaza Resort, Malden, Essex
(they’re awaiting confirmation of working this show)

25th March 2012
10th Peterlee Tattoo Arts festival
Peterlee Leisure Centre, Peterlee, County Durham

14th & 15th April 2012
North Lakes Tattoo Show
The Shepherds Inn, Carlisle, Cumbria

4th & 5th May 2012
Liverpool Tattoo Convention
Adelphi Hotel, Liverpool

Below is a couple of pieces of work by Gary and Danielle- they really rock. For more information, I urge you all to visit the studio’s Facebook page, which you can see here.

It’s called “Shit People Say to Tattooed People”, and it does what it says on the tin! It rings pretty true, to be honest, I’ve heard a lot of these things before from people. It’s all in the name of fun though, and I guess that you have to remember that some people know as much about tattooing as I know about Jazz music. Well… some people are just stupid as well, let’s face it, haha.

This reminds me of something I wrote a while ago on my personal blog, bitterly called “Stop Stroking my Arm“.

Anyway, here’s the video below- happy Friday!

The cover looks very nice, but as soon as you open it up you see an advert for New Image, a supply company responsible for inspiring a fair few ‘scratchers’ with one of their old websites. Not really a good start, to be honest! I persevered, which you would too if you’d just spent £7 on the thing.

Thankfully the whole thing gets better, with a foreword by Jesse Smith, which is ridiculously cool and very well thought out. After this, the format of the book is pretty simple: they’ve picked out some ‘styles’ of tattooing, and a main tattooer to highlight each one, then added in additional photos for each section.

I have to use the word ‘styles’ a little loosely, I’m afraid- I personally don’t see ‘animals’ and ‘pin ups’ as a style, I’d consider that a subject matter. Unfortunately, the styles are a little lacking, in my opinion. ‘Traditional’ becomes ‘Old School’, and there is nothing there for colour realism or new school, which I saw as a little strange. I think the makers of this must be confused too, since some of their ‘old school’ tattoos really aren’t anything of the sort, and I don’t think a magpie qualifies as ‘horror’.

My pet hate about this thing is the fact they use the word ‘inker’ a lot, instead of tattooer. I’m sorry, can we just clear this up now for a second? ‘Ink’, ‘inked’, ‘inker’… they’re not cool words. Just call them motherfucking tattoos, tattoos are cool enough. You sound like you’re going through a mid-life crisis if you say anything else.

However!

I digest. Have you seen the tattooers who are in this thing?! Joining Jesse Smith are the almighty Uncle Allan, Joe Capobianco, Angelique Houtkamp, Paul Booth and Mike Devries, among other amazing tattooers. The work shown in this is actually outstanding. There’s only one bad tattoo in this whole thing (you’ll know when you see it), and the things these tattooers have to say is pretty cool, too. Where the makers of this have failed in some areas, they’ve really made up for in picking out some amazing tattooers to be in this.

The tattooers featured in this “magbook” make it worth buying, to be honest with you. Their work is outstanding, as usual, and it actually feels kind of nice to hold in your hands, instead of drooling over the artists’ blogs online. I think tattooers will like this as well, for one of those “these are the sorts of styles you can get” talks with customers. I really liked reading about what some of these guys had to say as well, especially when it came to their overall attitudes and the reasons why they work in the ways they do.

Overall, I think Tattoo Style is worth the £7, however, for another extra quid you can buy a marker pen and go over everything which isn’t from one of the tattoo artists, to make it better. And scrub out the word ‘inker’.

Tattoo Style is available now from WHSmith, and websites like this one. You can also click here and see a small snippet of what’s inside.

Anyway, my partner in Total Tattoo crime, Matt Lodder (who is totally not posing in the above photo), is going to be speaking at a cool event in Newcastle next month. The event, as part of Newcastle Skeptics in the Pub, is called ‘A Sceptical Look at Media Perceptions of Tattooing in the West’. Basically, Matt will be talking about his own research he’s done as part of his doctoral thesis, and will be challenging the way the media sees tattoos. If you’re familiar with Matt’s work, you’re familiar with these ideas, and it should be a really cool way to explore them a little deeper and even bring along your own ideas as we all discuss it afterwards. Plus, there’ll be beer.

The event takes place on the 8th of February. It should be a lot of fun, and we’ll be there at The Bridge Hotel (which is pretty much slap bang between Monument and the Quayside, fellow geordies) from around 7PM. I can’t promise how long Matt and I will stay sober, however.

Here’s the event details on Facebook. Let’s drink, let’s party. It would be really cool to see you guys there. Matt is a cool guy with good ideas, let’s all have a listen to them.

Cosmic Tattoo is the kind of studio where you can tell only the best work walks out of the door. There seems to be a good mix between everyone of traditional, Japanese and realism tattoos, though they seem like pretty all-round tattooers. You may have already seen their work around, and if you haven’t you need to! It’s getting to a point in tattooing at the moment where loads of people are opening up shops everywhere, where there’s one great tattooer and a few inferior ones who are just there to pay the bills for the owner, so it’s always a refreshing change right now when you see a studio where every tattooer is really great.

They’re also one of those studios that do the full whack- they offer laser removal and piercing as well, and their piercer, Dickie Twiddler, seems great, too. They’ve even got a bitchin’ sofa in there which was made by a dude on Pimp My Ride UK- no shit!

Overall, I think Cosmic Tattoo is a really fantastic studio, and that if you’re stuck for ideas on who you want to tattoo you next, you should check them out. You can see loads of their work on Facebook here, and below there are some pictures of my personal favourites by the guys.

Leigh Oldcorn

Sim Abbott

Pinky Darling

Alan Aldred

Now bear in mind that I can confidently say that the following tattoos are some of the worst tattoos I have ever seen in my life. Yeah, it’s pretty bad when I put it like that!

There’s this profile of a “tattooer” who’s been doing the rounds on Facebook between loads of tattooers I know called Synyster Ink. I know, I’m appalled at that spelling, too. I took a look, and in all honesty I have to say this guy has done some of the worst tattoos I have ever seen in my life. I really hope that this is just someone who’s playing a joke, though I can’t seem to see anything in the pictures which say that they’re fake.

I just wanted to draw this to your attention because:

a) It’s funny.

b) It may show some idiots what happens when you get your friend to give you some “siq tatz” instead of going to see a real tattooer

and c) it’s funny.

Don’t be a moron, get a tattoo in a proper studio- otherwise, you may end up with one of the worst tattoos… ever!

Here’s a couple of my favourites (if I can call them that). See more here, and check out the funny status updates as well.

I think you guys should check it out- if you’re here, you clearly already like tattoo blogs. Click here to see it.

Also, Morag is a canny little tattooer! Here is some work I saw on the site, if you like these, you should definitely visit the blog and make an appointment to book in!